the “problem of other minds” in the guardian
“In everyday life, the problem of other minds isn’t usually a problem: we assume everyone has one, and things mostly work out fine. Even so, it’s a useful reminder to be sceptical when it comes to our belief that we know what’s going on in other people’s heads. If we can’t be certain there’s a mind there at all, how much more dubious are the detailed assumptions we habitually make about what they’re thinking? The field of social psychology is a litany of the ways we get overconfident about our ability to read others’ minds, landing us in trouble.”
laurie anderson reflects on what one 21-year-long relationship looked like (rolling stone) :
“Lou and I played music together, became best friends and then soul mates, traveled, listened to and criticized each other’s work, studied things together (butterfly hunting, meditation, kayaking). We made up ridiculous jokes; stopped smoking 20 times; fought; learned to hold our breath underwater; went to Africa; sang opera in elevators; made friends with unlikely people; followed each other on tour when we could; got a sweet piano-playing dog; shared a house that was separate from our own places; protected and loved each other. We were always seeing a lot of art and music and plays and shows, and I watched as he loved and appreciated other artists and musicians. He was always so generous. He knew how hard it was to do. We loved our life in the West Village and our friends; and in all, we did the best we could do.
Like many couples, we each constructed ways to be – strategies, and sometimes compromises, that would enable us to be part of a pair. Sometimes we lost a bit more than we were able to give, or gave up way too much, or felt abandoned. Sometimes we got really angry. But even when I was mad, I was never bored. We learned to forgive each other. And somehow, for 21 years, we tangled our minds and hearts together.”
annie leibovitz, photo, 1995
